Stuck.Moving On.Book.We The Kings.

Hey, me again. jus here chillin..I think last time i got on was last week..not a whole lot has happened since then, more ups and downs with people but nothing new..it kinda feels like when things get good for me, or i think im getting somewhere i get knocked bac down. its like the world is constantly slapping me in the face and sayin "WELCOME TO LIFE"..

not really sure where the ex situation is going. but from how things ar playing out, its not going over the hill. i climb and then slide bac down. so im jus trying to learn to survive. and I have to say i'm thankful for a few things, my best friend. and music.

speaking of which, i listened to secret valentine by we the kings and its a cool song. reminds me of someone, someone different for once..and i can honestly say she puts a smile on my face and makes my day alot better =)

oh, and a friend of mine and i are working on a book. we've got the characters, conflict, resolution and all that good stuff. its pretty cool bc he's a story writer, and i'm a poet and when ever we've collaborated in the past on poetry it's always been good. So i'm looking forward to how this book will play out, no expectation date. bc you cant rush a book. and i'll give more details as we write it..

have school 2morow =P puttin off doin this online math quiz that i really really should do. i guess i should get to that now.

and for all of you, who dont know who you are..dont know where you are..or where to go next..i'm with you on that..and maybe we'll find out together..


Peace,

Fall

Dear Autumn explanation..

so hey, yea dear autumn is about fall (me) telling autumn (girl he cares about) that he doesnt know who he is and he is leaving to find himself basically..we all go through a self identity phase, and i guess this is mine..not exactly sure who i am..so im trying to find out..and so to everyone i care about, this is my letter/poem to you telling you im gone...


*the part about crying represents rain fyi

Dear Autumn..

Dear Autumn, I don’t know what you’re feeling but I need to back up from everything for a while.

I need to find myself, and I don’t how long that’ll take; but I’ll be back when I do.

Though this is just another one you probably won’t read into…

Dear Autumn, just in case you look into this and don’t necessarily find me, all of me.

It’s because I’m out looking for me.

Searching through time for pieces that use to be mine and trying on different masks and either reveling or going numb in the feeling of that alias.

Of mine, it’s mine, so I bring it back with me while trying not to step on the mines strewn across the fields in my mind.

The mines are polished with guilt and wired with fear and the give off a purple glint in the sun.

Son, oh right I have a father now so I can take this piece with me too.
Fathers raise their child in the right path and are there for them with hugs and love.

But gradually his arms grow smaller and you’re desire for a hug grows larger and larger, and you feel smaller and smaller as time goes on.

Time, stop, where am I now? Oh right, I’m inside four walls listening to you cry because you can’t find me. 500 miles away and you’re tears reach here.

They’re soothing to my aches and calming to my soul.

I’ve put so much of me into you I can hear the choked words between each sob and you’re scent caresses my nose while the taste of your tears rest on my tongue.

Now I can take this piece of my first love and who I was in her with me so we can be reacquainted in time. Time, wait, stop, where I am?

Oh right, I’m lost but I know where I’m going and the breeze tells me she will take me there, anywhere.

Blowing me like arboretum leaves where ever leaves where ever she listeth.

Please, don’t look for me. And don’t worry yourself about me, you won’t find me.

But understand that I’m thinking of you, and every time I want to say I miss you I’ll whisper it and wish that you heard me.

I know you wrote me when I left a few times when I left you a few years ago; and so this is my one and only letter to you.

I’ll be back when I know who I am…

Dear Autumn…I’m gone…

Up's/Down's & John Mayer

You ever have one of those moments where it's like..she's outta my league..those suck. i dont know if it's lack of confidence or if it's jus a sudden realisation. not sure if i'm to pursue or fall bac..so maybe i'll do neither.

But aside from that spring break was pretty good . went to a resort and then went to the zoo when I got bac. LOL. that was a good day =)..had alot of fun, and..jus, yea lol.
bac in school now =/ only upside is my 17th bday is Wednesday April 7th. sooo excited lol.

So i now hav a John Mayer phase onto of my Jesse McCartney phase. lol idk why im stuck on the white singers, just good music. touches my soul. lol.

Well i hav homework to go do =/
kic push & deuce

peace,

Fall