Spring Break. Growing Up. Jesse McCartney

So suppose to be leaving in a couple hours. Heading to Massanutten Resort in middle of nowhere VA. lol. it looks pretty cool from the website, but im going with my mom and little bro. ugh. id really rather stay here and be able to not be around them. idk what it is..or what exactly happened. but i really dont like being around people..especially family.

mom is always talking bout how when i was my brothers age i would talk to her and we'd hang out (false) b/c i know exactly what i was doing at 9 and 10 and it wasnt anything good. But you wonder when parents will understand that we're growing up and dont want to be with them anywhere near as much as we use to. Maybe mine is a special case, though i doubt it, but i dont even like saying hello. smh @ myself..yea i know what your thinking, "thats terrible, she's your mom" i know that, but growing up i always spent all my time alone for the most part and i didnt talk to many people. mostly myself, lol yea i was crazy.

I'll be 17 on april 7th. less than 2 wks away. thats one year from 18 and i'll be gone..i wonder if she'll realize that when my lil bro becomes a teenager he'll want to be either by himself or with friends all the time. I just want her to get that im growing up, and im not gonna change who i am...sigh...

well aside from that, i am on a jesse mcCartney phase for some reason..idk, friend of mine played "leavin" the other day and i remembered how much i liked his music before. so now im on a non stop McCartney phase. lol..id say that the three song i've listened to over and over the last few days are "Anybody". "Beautiful Soul". and "Just so you know"...those three touch my heart is 3 really weird and different ways...anybody makes me think of broken promises from an ex of mine from a few years ago, and not being taken advantage of..lol..i was such a stupid kid, she took advantage of me sooooo often...and Beautiful Soul touches me because there's someone that I know, who has a beautiful soul. and i dont want someone else. because there are tons of beautiful people but i want someone who is beautiful inside and out..And then Just So You Know touches me b/c im still dealing with a break up from a few months bac. pushing forward and trying to get through it but it's hard. and this song probly doesnt help. lol..

well anyhow, i'll be outta town til tuesday but to everyone on spring break, enjoy it and be safe.

Peace,

Fall...